How Father Figures Can Support Emerging Adult Men’s Mental Health All Year Long

Father's Day often shines a spotlight on dads' roles during childhood—coaching sports teams, helping with homework, and teaching life lessons. But the influence of father figures doesn't end with adolescence. 

Emerging adulthood, broadly defined as the period between ages 16 and 29, is marked by major transitions. While these years can be exciting, they can also bring significant stress and uncertainty.

“The unique challenges this age group experiences in the overlap between adolescence and adulthood are profound,” says Paul Doolan, PsyD, who has spent the past decade working with adolescent and emerging adult men ages 12-35 in their journey to overcome mental health challenges and forge meaningful lives. 

Research consistently shows that supportive relationships with adults—including fathers, grandfathers, mentors, coaches, and other father figures—can serve as a powerful protective factor for mental well-being. Spoiler alert: showing up doesn't require having all the answers!

Read on for practical guidance from Doolan, a licensed psychologist and graduate of the MA in Forensic and Counseling (now offered as an emphasis in Forensic and Correctional Counseling in the MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling program) and PsyD in Clinical Psychology programs at William James College, about how to support emerging adult males as they navigate life’s ups and downs: 

1. Normalize Conversations About Masculinity

For many emerging adult males, messages about what it means to "be a man" come from a wide range of often competing influences including family, peers, social media, online personalities, and cultural expectations. As traditional definitions of masculinity continue to evolve, young men can be left sorting through conflicting ideas about strength, vulnerability, independence, and emotional expression. The widespread use of terms like "toxic masculinity" can further complicate those conversations, particularly when the concept is misunderstood or reduced to a label rather than an opportunity for reflection.

Doolan believes that creating space for honest dialogue is an important part of helping young men navigate that complexity.

"Addressing what masculinity actually looks like in candid, transparent, emotionally vulnerable conversations is a good way to avoid confusion," he says.

Increasing awareness of—and appreciation for—what it means to be a healthy, functioning male in today's society can help emerging adults develop a more grounded sense of identity and well-being.

2. Prioritize Connection Over Problem-Solving

Emerging adulthood is naturally filled with uncertainty, apprehension, and periods of feeling stuck. While it can be tempting to jump straight into advice-giving when an emerging adult is struggling, Doolan believes connection matters more than having the right answer. 

"When stuckness is understood, it can highlight what's not working and serve as a tool for moving through ambiguity and confusion,” he says.

Listening without judgment, asking thoughtful questions, and remaining present can help emerging adult males make sense of their experiences and develop confidence in their own ability to navigate challenges.

Developing a healthy understanding of masculinity is not something that happens overnight. It is a process that unfolds through intentional interaction, dialogue, and  relationship-building.

3. Model Mentorship, Not Dictatorship

As boys become young men, a father’s role evolves. Rather than directing decisions and solving problems, father figures can support emerging adults by offering guidance, perspective, and encouragement while allowing them to develop confidence in their own abilities. 

Doolan encourages parents to think less like authority figures and more like mentors. Instead of focusing on control, the goal is to cultivate trust, curiosity, and open communication.

"Much of masculinity is modeled behaviorally,” he says, underscoring that mentorship begins by example.

Modeling vulnerability, identifying and regulating emotions, admitting mistakes, and engaging in honest conversations all demonstrate healthy ways of being a man. Doolan encourages fathers to ask themselves: How do I show up in my emerging adult's life in a way that allows them to see me as a consultant rather than someone who tells them what to do simply because I'm the parent?  

4. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Achievement

Trial-and-error are hallmarks of emerging adulthood. As folks in this age group navigate school, careers, relationships, and identity development, Doolan encourages father figures to emphasize the tremendous resilience and growth that happen along the way.

“Sharing past successes and failures, from a time when you were trying to figure things out, is incredibly relevant for emerging adults who often see their parents in idealized ways,” says Doolan.

This process involves normalizing challenges and the emotions that accompany them—behaviors often lacking in the people and systems surrounding emerging adult males.

While some parents may hesitate to reveal the struggle, self-doubt, or failure preceding their own success, Doolan suggests reframing vulnerability as a strength.

By talking openly about both successes and setbacks, fathers help young men understand that growth is rarely linear. The goal is not to avoid failure, but to develop the confidence and skills needed to learn from it and keep moving forward.

5. Recognize When Professional Support May Be Helpful

Not every young man enters adulthood with a strong emotional connection to his father. For some, that relationship is limited by any number of circumstances that include distance, absence, and a father's own capacity for emotional vulnerability. As a result, many emerging adults find themselves experiencing genuine emotional support and openness for the first time through relationships with mentors, counselors, or other trusted adults.

While those connections can be meaningful, they can also cause difficult emotions about what has been missing to surface.

"There's ultimately a grieving process that exists when expectations and reality do not align," says Doolan. Feelings of sadness, anger, disappointment, or longing related to a father-son relationship that never fully materialized can be complex and difficult to process alone. 

Connecting with a therapist can provide a supportive space to explore those emotions, develop an understanding of their impact, and build healthy patterns for future relationships.

Fathers and father figures don’t eliminate struggle—they model how to move through it. Which is why Doolan’s advice to these role models is simple: “Be the kind of person you hope your son becomes.”

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