Turning Conflict into Connection: Isabelle Morley PsyD on Building, Repairing, and Sustaining Relationships

For close to a decade, Isabelle Morley, PsyD, has been helping folks turn conflict into connection. As an undergrad, the Peace and Justice Studies major was determined to pursue a career in law or psychology; being introduced to William James College solidified her path. Morley’s passion for working with couples emerged early in her graduate studies. For her doctoral project, the 2015 graduate of the PsyD in Clinical Psychology program researched hookup culture’s impact on relationship formation—and her curiosity about couples has only increased since. 

“In recent years, couples have increasingly been diagnosing each other using therapy speak terms which can get in the way of the actual work,” says Morley, pointing to a troubling trend at the root of her newest project. They’re Not Gaslighting You: Ditch the Therapy Speak and Stop Looking for Red Flags in Every Relationship (May 2025) addresses what the clinical psychologist and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)-certified couples therapist calls pop pathology—the cultural habit of using clinical language to explain away painful conflicts and frustrating experiences. While she is glad to see conversations surrounding mental health being normalized on social media, unbridled access to information is proving problematic.

“When we use labels that shift blame to others, they become barriers to connection,” says Morley who adds that doing so robs individuals of the intimacy, empathy, and growth that make relationships worth having in the first place. After witnessing the messy, frustrating, and often harmful ways “therapy speak” was affecting client relationships, Morley decided to level set what increasingly popular words like narcissist and personality disorder to toxic and triggered (just to name a few) actually mean—and why weaponizing them is not the answer.

 “[Mental health diagnoses] are intended to provide clarity for moving forward—with ourselves, our own decisions, and others in our lives,” says Morley. She reminds readers that after clinicians are taught to diagnose, they are taught not to diagnose; in other words, the inherent danger in viewing others through an overly clinical lens is recognized among folks trained in the field. For folks without clinical training, using therapy speak becomes a slippery slope.

Off the Page 

Morley’s ongoing work centers on helping folks understand what healthy relationships look like; not surprisingly, she’s garnered quite a following. In  Love Them or Leave Them, her regular column for Psychology Today, Morley discusses on-screen romantic relationships. After penning an article about the popular Netflix reality TV dating show Love Is Blind, cast members reached out to Morley in hopes of addressing the widespread mistreatment of contestants and the damage inflicted in their personal lives as a result. The industry-wide problem more than resonated with Morley. 

“[Audiences] are obsessed with reality TV and—in watching these shows religiously—are learning lessons about love, dating, and marriage that are not healthy and put cast members’ mental health at risk,” says Morley, who considers therapists on reality television shows a big part of the issue. “From psychological evaluations to on-set support, licensed therapists are participating in the creation of these shows—and, unlike viewers, they do see what happens behind the scenes,” says Morley. 

Ultimately, Morley and Nick Thompson (from Season 2 of Love is Blind) took their shared interest in providing support and advocacy for past, current, and future reality show participants to the next level as founding board members of the Unscripted Cast Advocacy Network (UCAN). Their mission is to build a community that supports transforming the reality television landscape by safeguarding the rights and well-being of cast members by providing access to legal support and mental health resources while advocating for industry reform that improves labor practices and ensures ethical treatment.

Buttressing a Foundation

In early November, Morley returned to campus to sit on a panel featuring alumni and friends of the College who are not only psychologists but also published authors. In doing so, she was reminded of the shared excitement and passion among her peers—forces that continue to buoy her amidst the heavy responsibility of treating couples in therapy.

“The meaningful connections I established at William James College have become the hub of my career,” says Morley, pointing to a dedicated support system and robust referral network forged with colleagues in her doctoral cohort. She points to individuals like Bailey Hanek, PsyD—who she met on the first day of grad school—with preparing her for success in the field. “[Each member of the cohort] took the isolating and very hard work that we do as practitioners seriously and was driven to succeed in their chosen direction—from neuropsych or Veterans to couples—which was so inspiring,” says Morley. She and Hanek co-authored their first book together, Navigating Intimacy: An Introductory Guide to Couples and Sex Therapy. And Morley is at work on a new book, You Don’t Have ADHD, which is all about helping folks avoid yet another troublesome trend: self diagnosis. As to what keeps her rooted in the work, Morley has an admirable why : 

“I love seeing couples make it,” says Morley of the satisfaction that comes from helping others do the hard work of creating and sustaining happy relationships. As a newly divorced person, she also understands much more deeply the line between staying and leaving and the challenges in navigating both choices. Relationship status aside, Morley hits the proverbial nail on the head when offering next steps for moving forward:

“Let's all be more mindful of our tendency to engage in pop pathology, of ourselves and of others, so that we can start viewing the world through a more nuanced, generous, and less-pathological lens. It's what we all need and deserve.”

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